Hihi

Suddenly felt like posting...dun ask me why. 1st of all, i'm posting my nxt sem's timetable here for viewing...lol.



Nice right?? Seems kinda empty...can relax abit on thurs and fri...maklumlah friday sembahyang...LOL. Nway I was pretty lucky coz I only managed to register my time at 2.30pm while the reg starts at 1pm...oh well, continuous luck for 5 sems d. No sweat.

Ok next up, my exams...nxt week oh...god bless me. Finish auditing today, start AFA tmr. Lalala and and for those who's worried abt me, i'm fine d. No prob. No storm can beat me down. Full steam ahead for my exams.

Oh oh and kawan-kawan sekalian, maaf ya coz am not coming bak for raya break. Lousy break...so close to my finals so kenot come bak. To all my Malay frenz, Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir dan Batin....izit correct. Sry if i'm wrong. My sem break starts officially 23rd of Sept. OMG i'm supposed to study now...k la gtg...blog awhile to brag abt my timetable...see ya guys...byebye

A lil update abt me again

Hey i'm back. Life's been very quiet now. And it makes me think of her again. Why?? I went to yamcha juz now, my very 1st yamcha of the sem. The previous yamcha, i went wif jason they all plus ah boy. I remember sherry saying this to me "u come here yamcha or to sms?? Go home la go home la...go bak sms her la". I was so happy that time coz i tot i've found the one who will be wif me to support and motivate me, giving me a chance to change and improve myself, and to witness all the changes in me. I really gav her all my loyalty and love to her. No dividing. Juz for her.

Well, fast forward bak to present, nearly 5 mths down the road, here i am, sitting here blogging and telling myself if everything was juz a dream. A fairytale run that came to an abrupt end. Well, not really abrupt end altho i nvr see it coming. And 2 weeks before the monday when she scares me wif sth she said, we were still sms-ing wif her in a foreign country, and still scolding me for not sms-ing her and said i would be anoda bad guy for leaving her alone. I was happy coz i tot she really need and wants me. Fast forward to today, i'm really afraid that she will leave me. Why?? Why muz it has to be this way??

Ok ok she agreed to reconsider again during the sem break. But, it seems like the % of winning is so low. I nvr had a fair chance. I really sincerely hope that this time, i'll get a fair and serious chance. Plus, my chance is quite low as when my sem break starts, hers will end real soon, in ard 4 days or so. I felt like anoda huge test has been set forth upon me to win her in the shortest period possible. I really hope to get a real evaluation now. K la, it's getting late. Nid to go jogging tmr morning. Byebye

It's been awhile

I guess it's been a long time since i last posted a blog. Well, a lil update abt me. Gonna sit for my AFA mid-term II tmr. So not in the mood coz of the freaking humid weather. Oh well, it's not whether i'm in the mood or not nway. It's that i muz score well. Haih these few days hav been really torturing for me. Tried my bez to occupy my time wif studying so as not to think of her. I really miss her alot. How i wish time could turn bak to jan, where i can plan ahead. Life's been really dull and empty without her. So i had to exercise, study, exercise, study juz so i wont think of her.

I really hope the result of everything will be favourable to me. I'm not putting too high expectations on this one d. I juz hope it wont be an adverse result. I really wish for a miracle to fall from the sky. Nway, i think now's not the right time to think of such thing. Try my bez ba. If it does not work out the way i hope it will be, then...i dunno la. I cant predict the future nway.

Tmr's AFA is really a pain in the ass. After tmr AFA, i muz occupy my time wif my finals d. Study and exercise till i drop dead. Oh ya, clean my room too. I left it unattended for like...3 weeks d. Muz clean my room on sunday, or else i'll be slping among dust liao. Aih k la i gtg d...prepare for dinner...my dinner is fruits nway. Bye

Finally, my mind is cleared

Today, i spent my day doin my assgns for sunzhi and performance mgmt. Now p.mgmt and sunzhi is completed, i can concentrate on studying. Juz now i was studying and watching "borned rich". U might say i was wasting my time watching series. But suddenly, after watching, i und many things. Things which made me realized wat i did so far is wrong. The movie was touching. I learned many things from the drama.

Actually i was watching since yday. Then today, after episode 11, i decided to jump to 40+...lol the numberings on my episodes are bad...haha. Nway, i und many many things now. The moral values from the movie is priceless to say at least. Haha it's funny isn't it. I now know how to deal wif my life from a difren angle. I shall now put all effort into 2 things. Wat are the 2 things, secret la. Well, i dun wanna be a superman and take up too many things. Kinda tired. Let the waterfall flow, we'll still get water from below. Trying to collect the water midway thru is definitely more difficult.

K la i wanna disappear from here d.

OMG i'm dead

Ok ok i'm not dead. Just that something came in, and i felt the stress oredi. Eh eh it's juz english. But then, this is the 1st time i've seen such....english. Seriously, how to edit wor. I'm not discriminating coz they are trying their utmost bez. But still, i rather not have their reports wif me. Gives me the creeps. I'm a guy who tries his bez in everything, even english. Hopefully, i wont open their reports again since this assgn is not abt english.

Luckily i got the jist out of their essays. So i bet my lecturer will hav the same in mind. Really dun feel like editing their reports. But i juz feel like editing. Argh, anoda contradicting decision. Muz make up my mind real soon. C.Law assgn coming up. No time for woo-woo anymore. If i go woo-woo again, i might lose the person i love. I'm serious. Ok now, time for some updates....

Latest updates:-
Assignments:
Sunzhi assgn: 90% completed
Performance mgmt: 80% completed
C.Law: Errm...10%??? Ask group leader...i'm not leading.

Study for mid-terms:
C.Law: 80% Left company's constitution...i suppose 85% kua...
AFA: 45%
Performance mgmt: 55%
Auditing (my favourite): 85%

Still many things to do...fight fight.

I wonder...

Sometimes sometimes sometimes...

Treasure every moment

These few days have been harsh. I've learnt a lot about love & life. Now, i can dare say my life is moving onto the nxt transition. Okok, my love life and life itself has not been that great. Well overall, I've started to understand and see things differently. Like ppl say, when it's time to change, we will change. As for me, i've much more quiet than the old noisy Alex. I've learnt that sometimes, being silence is a way of communicating as well. When we're not talking, we're enjoying. How true this is.

I've began to enjoy the surroundings, looking and watching as ppl and time pass by rather than making my presence felt. It's kinda fun actually. Also, i've began to understand that friends are part of life. Without friends, life is definitely a bad one. However, I oso truly understand that life without love is like a tree without water. Dun get me wrong. Love can come from family and friends. Oh ok, the in-between too. After so many things happened, I can truly say I need her and love her. Well, is that too late now?

Moreover, being a human does not mean we havta make our presence felt. I found out that as long as ppl can feel our presence, then life is good enuf. Live life as humble as u can. We dun havta stand out as long as we can make a difference. Starting to see openly u might say....hehe. Oh ya i shall post some pix which i took juz now. Kinda nice.

Nice pic...lol looks like came out from the electric pole...

Love d rainbow...

Nice rainbow eh...

Sry...blame the tree...lol

Eh i'm not promoting 3R...lol

Don't see clouds plz...see the mountain...

Awaken...

I was stupid, I tot...but now I know. I realise how much I love her and need her. If only I can reverse and change bak time. If only I notice earlier. If only I'm more observant. Haih there's no turning bak. All I can do now is study hard and be a good guy. Will not post anymore emo stuff. Being emo = givin up. I muz not succumb to my past. I'll stand up and fight all the way. The experience and lesson I've learnt throughout my 21 yrs of life will definitely be a useful teacher for my nxt transition in life. K la i need to bathe and study now. Tata

Assignments coming...hoho

Assignments coming. Finally hit the 1st gear. Need to change gears soon as I still need to study for 3 mid-terms in one godlike week. Lol so far i'm in 3rd gear for my exams. However, seems like I need more petrol for more mileage. Oh oh and wif the mag finally behind, I can concentrate on studying and exercising to become thin. Yay lol short post eh...k la gtg. Doin assgns now. See ya

Who am i??

Deleted the previous post. Now only i know...u're scared of me. But why?? Juz bcoz of one mistake, u nvr wanna giv me a chance anymore. U said rather stay at home coz tired, yet u're willing to go out wif him even after a tedious day at college. I know ba, u enjoy goin out wif him rather than goin out wif me. After coming bak, i oredi noticed alot. It answers all the questions i need to know. Try to accept me, see inside. U'll und i'm not really the person i am. But u nvr wanna try, nvr wanna gimme a chance. No matter how hard i try, i know u'll nvr gimme one chance.

U said i'm talkative, but actually u juz cant or not willing to see how much i've changed. I'm talkative?? OMG pls ask anyone that knows me now. I'm only talkative in front of you. In campus, i hardly talk to anyone. Dun say girls, guys oso i dun talk to anymore. If being talkative in front of u is anoda criteria u cant accept, i'll juz shut up then. All u see of me is my outside look. U nvr try to look inside.

Why i rush u?? I'm afraid of losing u. I really do. Juz try to walk wif me. Be a normal bf-gf. Start as a normal one, or mayb juz go on a date wif me. At least u're giving me a chance. But now, u're not even giving me the chance. U dun havta accept me str8 away. Do it bit by bit. At least open ur heart to me so i can try to enter. And holding hands, is it so wrong?? Each time u pull away, i oredi know u're telling me we hav no chance at all.

Sometimes i wonder, wat's so lack of me till u dun even wanna gimme a chance. Yet u can love ur ex so much altho he hurt u so deep. I know u loved him still. However, u can at least giv it a try to a new love. U wanna hold on, i cant do anything. At least we start walking. Then slowly, u'll forget him. I dun wanna say anymore.

Now all i ask is gimme a chance. Juz try to be a basic bf-gf. If u dun wanna try, forever oso we cant be one.

Nany McPhee and the Big Bang

It's kinda nice movie la...giv 5 out of 10. And i like this quote.

"If u need me but dun wan me, that's when i will stay. If u wan me but no longer need me, that's when i will leave. This is how i work." Lol funny la her

Some nice quotes i came across while surfing the net

1) Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death. That's all.
2) For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, it might have been.
3) The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
4) Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.
5) The walls we build around us to keep out the saness also keep out the joy.
6) Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
7) Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
8) When I do something great, no one ever seems to remember. But when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget.
9) There is only one rain cloud in the sky, and it's raining on me. Somehow, I'm not surprised.
10) I wanna get lost from my life sometimes, sit on the side and watch the world go by. I wanna get lost and I don't know why.

Total change of me

I'll change myself. To whoever that reads this post, take my words. I will be a pure man, a man wif pure heart and mind. A human wif dignity, honour and pride. My tarnished name will be cleared of every single dirt. I shall repent and change. If she's reading this, then it's good. If not, i dun mind coz she hates me now. I'll fully change and then, go bak to her.

I'm a bastard

I've got ntg more to say abt myself. I've lost my dignity, honour and pride. I'm now a bastard, animal and ntg more than juz a piece of junk, rubbish. I'm worthless.

Wonderful days

Hehe u shud know wat post is this. Ever since friday, i've been goin for outings...datings u may say, wif my beloved. Hehe not to say we went anywhere romantic. But quite ok la. So big boy, 1st time pak tuo, lidat d wan la. Hehe she's my 1st love. And she will be d ONE AND ONLY.
It's been wonderful the past few days. Altho a few bad things happened, i notice they're due to my carelessness and lack of experience. Rationally thinking, i muz practice driving more. Seriously rusty. Noob skill. LOL

Nway life's been great. Dear, if u're readin this, thx alot. I love you dear. Everytime i'm wif u, my heart pounds like crazy. Like gonna jump out. Hehe and thx for ur gift. Love it. Hehe thx for brightening my darky world. Without u, life will be cold and hard. But wif u, it's always spring and easy. Hehe k la i gonna end this post. Muaxx muaxx

Dear...

Dear it's been nearly 2 months and i can say i've never been happier than this.
Having u wif me, the world feels so light, burden-less u might say. It feels paradise being wif u.
I know i hav ntg good to giv u, yet u accepted me. And for that, i wanna thank you.
Throughout these 2 month, i felt so loved and fun being wif u. It's like a never-ending story.
A book that goes on and on. When the world neglects me, u've been there supporting me
When the world hates me, u've been there all these while to love me. I juz cant thank you enuf.
Your love, ur trust, that's wat keeps me goin. I dunno if u read this or not, but i'm glad u're mine.

To those who knows our story well, they'll say "it's juz 2 mths". But these 2 mths, we've been
through ups and downs. We've gone from juz frenz to lovers. We've gone from unknowns to
a couple that und each other alot. There are 2 types of love in this world. One is, the girl falls for
the guy at 1st sight. This, the guy do not havta do anything. Ours, it's more of u accepted me.
Thus i can juz try my utmost bez to win ur heart. I do admit i get jealous over petty stuffs.
Like the cantonese says "hap kon chou". Still, i cant do anything abt it. I'm a human made
of flesh. I hav a soft heart, not a steel one. I try my bez to ignore, but sometimes, i juz cant control.

I hope u'll understand. I wan u to be the one and only. No other girls shall be of importance to me. Only you. U're the one that shelters me from the sunshine, provides me wif lights during
the nite, gav me hope when the world's collapsing on me, providing me wif energy when
i can barely walk. In return, i'll try my bez to provide u wif one world, a happy world.
Why i post this, i hav no idea. But these are my true feelings, from deep within my heart.
I love you dear. And thx for being wif me.

Finally anoda post...

So where are all my readers?? It seems nobody cares nway...nvm ba since this blog is juz a place for me to pour out wat i'm feeling...rather than bottle it up and then hav cracks everywhere....so how's life my fren?? Well, for me, life seems great...if u get wat i mean of coz... Exam week, study week, chiong ar!! STUDY STUDY!!!

Enough said, i got many things to bother and worry....aih i suddenly dun feel like writing it down here...lol juz feel so not right to pen them down here. Anyway, juz looking forward to my exams wif full determination. Cant wait to get my hols soon...deserve some rest. Nxt sem...wat a hectic life...

Sudden mood

Anoda lousy poem from me

Years have gone by
Life has passed by
Many disappoinments hav passed by
Hav i grew stronger?

Life is like a stage play
Sometimes you hav a bigger play
However life is definitely not like a farm
Where u can chase sheeps all day long.

Thinking bak how I hav struggled
Noticing how much things hav changed
Many regrets cannot be undone
Only future can be controlled.

Life feels so dark suddenly
The clouds fill the skies
Emotions fill the heart
Wat is left is a strong mind.

Once upon a time I was a 7 year old boy
Now i'm a 21 yearr old boy
Noticing how much I hav gone thru
I can say I hav learned a lot.

Suddenly I found out I've got dreams
Missions and visions too
Suddenly I know I gotta move on
Letting go of disappoinments

I know I gotta stand strong
Weather thru the storms
Fighting against the winds
To be a strong person inside

I am now writing a new chapter of my life
Everything will now definitely be different
I now have someone i cherish deeply
For me to share all my joy and sorrows.

I wanna thank you for giving me a chance
To enjoy such beautiful moments
I wish all these will not end
So my chapters will be interesting till the end

I notice my role is bigger now
My plays are definitely more important
I wanna say life is not all that bad
So please just giv life a chance

I wanna end by saying this
Life is definitely not difficult
It is just not that simple
So try to understand it

Hehe sth to comment

After reading my fren's blog, i suddenly felt like saying sth. It's juz my personal opinion. I dun wanna create any unnecessary religious uproar. Bu then, even for me, i hav met a few ppl persuading me "nicely" to convert to christianity. Why use persuasive?? Wat's the motive behind all these?? I dunno of coz but to me, we'll convert to christian when we wan to. Besides, dun u think persuasive conversion brings no meaning. I can be a christian, but in the end, i will not hav faith in it. True faith requires pure believers, dun u think. Some ppl might convert after persuasion, only to regret. Some may not even practise the teachings. So wat's the use of converting?? Well, one things for sure, i haven't met any ppl persuading me to convert to Buddhism.

I am not discriminating, but if u ppl wanna believe watever religion u wan, go ahead. We're living in a democratic country when the federal constitution allows free practise of any religion, of coz except black magics. But dun come ard persuading others to convert. To me, it's annoying. It's like they are desperate to add more numbers. Besides, a religion is juz a belief. A belief that regulates human conducts. If u believe, then u do. If not, then up to u. In fact, the only religion i met persuading ppl to convert are christians. Okok prove me wrong. I'm a democratic person. I accept all opinions and suggestions And afterall, this is my personal opinion. Mayb buddhist does that as well, i dunno. But so far, i met none. So if u do, let me know.

Lastly, plz, to all believers of all religions, believe ur religion as it is. Be strong in ur beliefs. We're here as human for a reason. We must not discriminate or hurt anyone as we're all humans. 2 hands, 2 legs, one head. Some ppl are gifted, some are taken away. God has his reasons for doin so. Besides, maybe in the end, there's only one god and he's smiling to all of us. However dun go ard persuading others. If we believe in ur religion, then we will convert. If not, juz move on. This is so especially to me eldest sister who goes ard preaching her religion. I find it rather annoying. That's all from me.

To anyone felt annoyed and irritated by my post, move on. I nvr call u to read. It's my personal opinion. U can post ur opinions here if u like. If my post caused an uproar, it's bcoz u ppl are not strong enuf in ur religion. And if u care so much wat i've said, it juz proves u're not strong in ur faith. If my words can shake the world, then the world is not strong enough. I believe any religion's god will agree wif me on this sentence "TRUE FAITH REQUIRES TRUE BELIEVERS".

Thank You

Feeling useless

Haih...i feel so useless tonite. I juz cant do anything. I wanna make her smile, yet i dunno how. I wan her to know i care for her, but i juz dunno how to show it. Seeing her down, yet i could do ntg, wat a lousy bf i am. I juz feel like goin bak to pg to accompany her. She's my energy, my strength. It's not i dun hav the confident. I hav, but I nid time. I know she's not rushing me, but I'm juz scared. I know she's giving me the chance, yet i dunno how to use it properly. Really feel useless. Wat can i do. I've never felt like this before.

OK OK ALEX, u're not this lousy...u can do it. Do it for urself, do it for her. I know u can. Dun giv up. Giving up is nvr in ur dictionary...NEVER...so why now? Dun ever giv up or u'll regret doin so. U're stronger than u think. Fight fight fight. Aza aza~!! No more blank talks. Will let my actions do the talking. Ganbatte!!

A poem dedicated to her

Ok ok it may not be the bez of poems, but still, I juz wanna let her know my feelings.

The day we met,
I thought it's by chance,
As time passes,
I found out it is more than chance.

Although the time is short,
But i enjoyed every single moment,
Every single second, is treasured by me,
'Coz I thought all this will end.

Day by day the feelings grew,
Stronger than ever, I tried to hide,
Finally I notice the one I need is you,
But i'm not sure if it's the same for you.

I decided to take the risk,
It feels like creating impossibilities,
It is like trying to make roses grow,
From places it will not grow.

I can still remember the day I profess,
I was nervous, I was so scared,
My heart was pounding so heavily,
Feels like hammer thumping onto walls.

At first I thought, I was gonna fail,
I knew it was impossible to grow roses from mattress,
Suddenly I saw a small plant grew,
From then on I knew nothing is impossible.

Today all these efforts are worth everything,
Life suddenly seems so beautiful,
Now i know meeting you is not by chance,
Because we are definitely fated.

Before this post will come to an end,
Please allow to say a few words from my heart,
Thank you for giving me a chance,
Baby I will always love you.

Life is beautiful

Today's been a great day. A bad start to this post huh? Who cares...haha life's been great. My exams today are great, suffered some minor hiccups, but it's ntg bigger than the previous 2. Also, i've found my life again. Made me feel so loved now. Haha but then but then, still, now that i hav it, i'm afraid to lose it. Why this feelings? Anyway, i trust myself and my capabilities to win it. Hoho now that my life is bak, i gtg d.

So what's this post abt, I heard u ask eh?? Oh juz sth...haha bb.

Life...as it is.

Life...weird isn't it. Everyone's lives changes every single moment. Now u're happy, later u're sad. Like the weather here. However, putting that aside, my previous post asked abt wat do u think of frenz. Seriously, they only come when they need u. I juz notice how naive i am to think that being frenz means being open and sharing. Not everyone appreciates our intentions. One moment, it seems like they care. The nxt moment, u find out they juz need u. They come wif good words, but leave without a trace. Vanish i shud say.

I'm tired of trying so hard to keep frenz. Now, i'll juz follow my own stream and flow. Go my own way. If they follow, then they follow. Otherwise, who cares. Different ppl has different way of life. Argh i dun even know wat i'm saying anymore. But at least, in my life, i can honestly say that "all the frenships i've made in my life is wif pure frenship intention".

Bye