Feeling useless

Haih...i feel so useless tonite. I juz cant do anything. I wanna make her smile, yet i dunno how. I wan her to know i care for her, but i juz dunno how to show it. Seeing her down, yet i could do ntg, wat a lousy bf i am. I juz feel like goin bak to pg to accompany her. She's my energy, my strength. It's not i dun hav the confident. I hav, but I nid time. I know she's not rushing me, but I'm juz scared. I know she's giving me the chance, yet i dunno how to use it properly. Really feel useless. Wat can i do. I've never felt like this before.

OK OK ALEX, u're not this lousy...u can do it. Do it for urself, do it for her. I know u can. Dun giv up. Giving up is nvr in ur dictionary...NEVER...so why now? Dun ever giv up or u'll regret doin so. U're stronger than u think. Fight fight fight. Aza aza~!! No more blank talks. Will let my actions do the talking. Ganbatte!!

A poem dedicated to her

Ok ok it may not be the bez of poems, but still, I juz wanna let her know my feelings.

The day we met,
I thought it's by chance,
As time passes,
I found out it is more than chance.

Although the time is short,
But i enjoyed every single moment,
Every single second, is treasured by me,
'Coz I thought all this will end.

Day by day the feelings grew,
Stronger than ever, I tried to hide,
Finally I notice the one I need is you,
But i'm not sure if it's the same for you.

I decided to take the risk,
It feels like creating impossibilities,
It is like trying to make roses grow,
From places it will not grow.

I can still remember the day I profess,
I was nervous, I was so scared,
My heart was pounding so heavily,
Feels like hammer thumping onto walls.

At first I thought, I was gonna fail,
I knew it was impossible to grow roses from mattress,
Suddenly I saw a small plant grew,
From then on I knew nothing is impossible.

Today all these efforts are worth everything,
Life suddenly seems so beautiful,
Now i know meeting you is not by chance,
Because we are definitely fated.

Before this post will come to an end,
Please allow to say a few words from my heart,
Thank you for giving me a chance,
Baby I will always love you.

Life is beautiful

Today's been a great day. A bad start to this post huh? Who cares...haha life's been great. My exams today are great, suffered some minor hiccups, but it's ntg bigger than the previous 2. Also, i've found my life again. Made me feel so loved now. Haha but then but then, still, now that i hav it, i'm afraid to lose it. Why this feelings? Anyway, i trust myself and my capabilities to win it. Hoho now that my life is bak, i gtg d.

So what's this post abt, I heard u ask eh?? Oh juz sth...haha bb.

Life...as it is.

Life...weird isn't it. Everyone's lives changes every single moment. Now u're happy, later u're sad. Like the weather here. However, putting that aside, my previous post asked abt wat do u think of frenz. Seriously, they only come when they need u. I juz notice how naive i am to think that being frenz means being open and sharing. Not everyone appreciates our intentions. One moment, it seems like they care. The nxt moment, u find out they juz need u. They come wif good words, but leave without a trace. Vanish i shud say.

I'm tired of trying so hard to keep frenz. Now, i'll juz follow my own stream and flow. Go my own way. If they follow, then they follow. Otherwise, who cares. Different ppl has different way of life. Argh i dun even know wat i'm saying anymore. But at least, in my life, i can honestly say that "all the frenships i've made in my life is wif pure frenship intention".

Bye